Does Hillary Clinton Belong in Jail, or Just in a Really Long Email Chain?

In today’s edition of “America’s Favorite Political Soap Opera,” we revisit a question that just won’t die, won’t delete, and definitely won’t encrypt itself: Does Hillary Clinton objectively belong in jail?

On one side of the aisle, critics cry, “Lock her up!”—a phrase that somehow outlived disco. Their case? The infamous private email server scandal, which they believe was less “oops” and more “espionage with a dash of WiFi.” Add Benghazi, uranium deals, and a general distrust of pantsuits, and you’ve got a recipe for a MAGA-flavored true crime docuseries.

On the flip side, legal experts—and reality—point out that Clinton was never indicted, the FBI concluded she was “extremely careless” but not criminal, and that if we jailed everyone for using private email for work, half of America’s workforce would be behind bars next to your uncle Steve who still uses AOL.

Clinton herself has responded with a calm “I’m still not in jail, am I?” while continuing to appear in more podcasts and memoirs than most former presidents.

So does Hillary belong in prison, or just in a group text labeled “Boomers Who Hate Gmail”? The answer might depend less on the law and more on your cable news subscription.

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